Fictional writing- Feeling a person

Imagineaza-ti ca ai putea sa cunosti un om care sa fie asa cum ai vrea tu. Sa il construiesti tu. Dar sa cunosti din el doar ceea ce ai vedea si dintr-o persoana reala, ceea ce te-ar lasa el/ea sa vezi.Imagineaza-ti ce ai cunoaste din el. Un joc.

There is so much about him. Much more thant I ever thought could be. He is not the one everyone sees. He has his secrets. One bigger than all the others. He can patiently wait for you to get to him, but in return you have to accept that all he gives is half-sided:half himself and half secret. He can see in you more frankly than you could ever be with yourself.
He taught me how I can go back to myself. How happiness is what everything is all about. He has patience but needs a lot of space. You can never feel that he has let you get close to him. He always keeps a distance from everybody else. I wonder if there is a person with whom he can be completely honest.
He taught me that it if allright to let go of people and that friends change over time. He said it's ok not to know who you are, He taught me that it is most important to always do at least one thing you truly like.
He knows me but does not consider that he does. He sees that I am still a child and that I have so much ahead of me before I grow up. He has taught me things I thought I knew. But he is still a peculiar stranger to me, altough he is one of my best friends.
Lately he has changed. A lot. He is sad. He seems still joyful but he has lost the one thing he thought that after discovering wouldbe forever with him: his happiness. He keeps too much to himself and it has started to kill him inside. He has lost one thing, but because of his silence he has remaind all alone.
He is the only person that I know that has truly his own life. He has taught me what it means to be on your own and I found out I am not ready for that. But I have learned that I am always myself no matter whom i have beside me. I am still afraid of loneliness, but he had taught me how to detach from others.
I guess he just needs to let others teach him new things about himself. He has changed. And he seems lost, like things that he had figuered out before are not true anymore.
He can find happiness everyday. But he knows it is never true happiness so he is always searching for more. He fights for everything in his life, but he does not do it by beaing mean. He does not want others to see him, but for him to learn whom he realy is.
He has probably taught me more things than everybody else alltogheter. But he did it in fewer words than everyone else. I wish he could still show me where to go from here on. But he is not the man to give it all out. He has taught me to be more patient and to slowly get to know others, rather than to be impatient. he is the one I need the most patience for. And I hope one day I could get to know more of him. I never dream of knowing everything.
He is a secret himself. And he has secrets.



P.S scuzati si de data aceasta eventualele greseli :)

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Am deschis ochii. Si in ochii tai era atat de multa viata incat speriata i-am inchis la loc.
Am deschis din nou ochii si pe fruntea ta se asternuse un gand.
Am intins mana incercand sa iti adun ingandurarea de pe fata si spre surpriza mea m-am impiedicat de un zambet.
Uimita am alunecat usor spre el, iar degetelor mele nu le venea sa creada cat era de frumos.
Ai ras de mine cand cu mirare am vrut sa prind in palme buzele tale si tot ceea ce puteam sa tin era o adiere.
M-ai luat de mana si speriata am tresarit cand in palma mea dreapta ai pus caldura soarelui.
Mainile mele au inceput sa tremure si incet, incet sa se trezeasca la viata.
Am inchis ochii crezand ca e doar un vis.

Am deschis ochii. Si in privirea ta era atat de multa liniste incat speriata am incetat sa mai respir.
Am deschis din nou ochii si in fata mea era acelasi zambet.
Mi-ai luat in bratele tale fruntea si orice urme de vant si indoiala s-au scurs in palmele tale.
Inmarmurita de mirare, mi-am lasat genele prada unui sarut.
Si in ele a ramas tremurand pret de o clipa un gand, o soapta.
Am inchis ochii.

Am deschis ochii si fata ta era atat de aproape de sufletul meu incat nasul tau imi gadila barbia.
Am deschis din nou ochii si te-am privit intrebatoare.
Am incercat sa iti spun ca ochii tai vad mult prea mult in mine.
Dar vorbele s-au impiedicat de degetele tale si au ramas rasfirate sa se usuce in vant.
Ma ardea privirea ta iar mainile tale imi inghetau obrajii ca un crivat.
Nu mai vedeam decat ochii tai, iar buzele mele cereau cu disperare aer.
Am inchis ochii.

Am deschis ochii. Si in fata lor erai tot tu.

Nu spune nimic

Nu spune nimic si tine-ma in gand
nu striga in mine, lasa linistea sa spuna totul
nu vorbi, asculta si plangi
nu vorbi, priveste si razi.

Nu spune nimic si tine-mi mana strans
nu lasa cuvintele sa prinda viata
lasa-le sa doarma incet.
lasa in bratele mele tot ceea ce esti.

Nu spune nimic si tine in tine clipa
stai aici langa mine in tacere
si lasa mainile sa spuna totul
nu vorbi, asculta si vezi.

Nu spune nimic si totul va fi spus
tine linistea dintre noi in tine
nu spune nimic si pleaca
nu spune nimic si nu privi in urma.

M-am pierdut

I lost myself. This is not where I was supposed to be, this is not who I was supposed to be. This is not me. I sit here and ask myself: where and when have I lost the way to being me?
How can I even tell when I took the wrong turn or made the wrong step when I don't even know which was the path I was supposed to walk on. All that I know is that all that is going on is not quite right. And I don't seem able to find a way out of all this. Maybe this is really who I am. And all along I mistakenly thought of whom I supposedly was.
I really don't know anymore who I am or where I am. I don't know me anymore. I don't dream anymore, and I don't seem to have any hope left. I have become the one that I promised I would never be: the dreamless one.I'm empty.

...

De ce se nasc ingeri fara aripi? Cum sa isi ia zborul fara aripi? De ce ingerii de azi sunt tristi? De ce in ochii lor nu mai e cerul?De ce in palme nu mai au zarea?
Pentru ca in fiecare zi un vis moare. Si cu fiecare vis un inger isi pierd aripile. In fiecare zi e un sarut care se pierde intre inimi, o atingere care isi pierde mana dar nu isi gaseste fruntea, un pas care isi ia zborul in aer dar nu mai atinge pamantul, o privire care nu mai vede in ochii celorlalti decat o palida reflectie a sa. In fiecare din noi e un minut de rautate. In mine e o seara fara luna, fara stele, fara vant. In mine e o liniste ce doare, o liniste care ascunde mult prea multe cuvinte in ea. In mine e tacere. Si in tacere se pierd vise.
In mine am vrut sa fie furtuna, sa fie o ploaie de viata, un vant de visare. In mine am vrut sa fie pasii pierduti, sarutul uitat, mana stangace. In mine am vrut sa fie pamantul, sa fie si luna si stelele tale. In mine am vrut sa fie visare.
In mine e golul. In mine e tacere. In mine e moarte.

pentru tine zorro, pentru cel ce ai fost, pentru cel ce esti, pentru cel pe care il ascunzi.

Azi am incercat din nou
mi-am ridicat privirea si te-am cautat in stele
in suflet,in palme, in clipe, in soaptele mele,
in aripi de fluturi, in nisipul prins in gene.

Azi am vrut sa cred
am strans in palme cuvintele tale
in zari, in zilele de ieri, in culorile din soare,
in pasii tacuti din noapte, in tacere.

Azi am ascultat
cum vantul nu mai stia de noi
de vise cu zmei, de aripi, de zambete, de ploi
de munti si mari, de pasii goi.

Azi am cautat
sa gasesc ce a ramas din tine
in umbra din mine, in pustiu, in vise straine,
in cuvinte goale, in serile senine.

Ieri te-am uitat
si Maine imi voi aminti din nou
de copii,de soare,de-al marii ecou,
de-un zmeu, si de-un erou.

I played my part and stole the play

I took a chance, I took a step. I tried.
I buried myself alive, and opened myself to the world.
I let you steal away all that I had.
I stood beside my grave and laughed.
I reached out for you. I gave you my hand.
I looked at how you burned inside of me.
And I stood beside you.
I walked in front of my steps. I was my shadow.
I hidden all my thoughts beside your back.
I closed my eyes and jumped into the sea.
I opened my arms and felt the wind,the emptiness.
I smiled at you with tears of pain.
I tried to talk but words were silence.
And through all this I walked with pride.
I made a choice.
I had my chance and failed to live.
I wrote so many letters, and still I had nothing to say.
I slipped in the dark and feared.
I sang again with empty sounds.
I told the words of worldly love, and got laugh as a response.
And in the end I won myself back from all the toughts I wasted.

i will never forget...

I will never forget the way he said my name for the first time. I will never forget the way he said that my voice left him without words. I will never forget how he laughed when i told him how much like a child I am. I will never forget how we used to call each other and then just listen to each others breathing. I will never forget the first time he said it. I will never forget when he told me he was leaving. I will never forget how i believed in him, in us. I will never forget that he lied, that he only fooled me. I will never forget how he was crying, and how his tears were just sham. I will never forget how i trusted him.
I will never forget how he knew to see trough me. I will never forget how he understood me. I will never forget how he wrote the story for me. I will never forget how he seamed to really get me. I will never forget how he slowly pushed me away. I will never forget how he made me fly for him. I will never forget how he decided that i don't need him. I will never forget how he told me that i just have to move on. I will never forget how he promised he would be there, but never really was. I will never forget how I had had trust again.
I will never forget how to believe in people. I will never forget how much it hurt. I will never forget how it is to believe in someone and afterwards descover it was just one year of lies. I will never forget how people judged me for having faith and for fighting. I will never forget the way he smelled...i will never forget the way he smiled. I will never forget the way he laughed. I will never forget the way he, and he, humiliated me. I will never be humilliated again.

un nou an

Si uite asa incepe un nou an. As fi vrut sa am timp sa ma gandesc la ceea ce imi doresc de la acest nou an, dar bineinteles ca am neglijat asta pana in ultimul moment. Ma bucur ca am putut fi alaturi de cei care conteaza intre ani. Ce curioasa clipa...clipa dintre ani, acea infima secunda cand nu suntem nici prezent, nici trecut, nici viitor. Si totusi as putea spune ca imi doresc ceva pentru noul an: imi doresc sa visez fluturi si sa respir flori, imi doresc sa simt vantul si sa aud muntii, imi doresc sa zbor cu culorile si sa adorm in brate de papadii, imi doresc sa simt clipa si sa traiesc minunea, imi doresc sa vreau si imi doresc sa pot, imi doresc minuni calde cu suras de copii, imi doresc sa vad ceea ce e in fata mea si ceea ce e in tine.
As vrea ca noul an sa imi aduca visele inapoi, sa le primesc cu bratele deschise, sa nu mai fie dor, ci doar nerabdare in mine. Am visat din nou muntele, si apa acea rosie. Am visat din nou ca zbor, de data aceasta nu cu aripile lui, cu aripile mele carpite din speranta. Am vrut sa intind mana, sa ating norii, insa nu erau acolo, era doar pustiu si intuneric. Singurul lucru care mai ramasese erau licuricii, licuricii din ochii lui, pe ei i-am luat cu mine.Mai demult ai luat din mine lumina de care aveai nevoie, caldura pentru sufletul tau si ai plecat cu ea. Mi-ai intors spatele si ai daruit ceea ce imi furasesi ca si cum ar fi fost la tau. Mai demult inca mai puteam sa iti dau ceva din mine, si ai luat tot ce simteai ca te vrea, toate aripile fluturilor le-ai adunat in pumni, numai ca nu ai stiut ca astfel le vei strivi. Si ca fluturii fara aripi mor. Mai demult am infruntat soarele cu ochii larg deschisi, insa acum mai pot doar sa las luna sa imi alunece prin gene.
Maine, in fiecare maine din mine, zaresc rasaritul si nu pot intelege decat apusul. Pentru fiecare pas trebuie sa rup cate o floare din mine. In fiecare vis sting putin din lumina licuricilor. Maine, in fiecare zi ce a fost, ascult in mare doar linistea, iar in pasii fiecarui val mai e doar durerea. Maine, in fiecare clipa din prezent, e cautarea, iar din ceea ce stiam a mai ramas doar amintirea.
As vrea ca noul an sa stie sa ma invete de ce mare e rosie cand e trista, de ce fiecare munte ar un varf singuratic, cel care a vrut mai mult si a ales sa infrunte vantul singur, as vrea ca ziua de maine sa imi aduc cuvintele pe care sa le pot scrie in urma mea, povestea noastra, basmul celor doi copii ce si-au scris destinele cu talpile pe malul marii.
You are the one that knows how to light the night when i can't find the way to my dreams, you are the one that takes the moon in its arms when i am to blinded in the search of my star. You are the one that knows then to snow in my arms so that my soul would stop burning, and you are the only one that knows when to step in front of me so i won't get lost but when to let me fly alone so that i could find my strength. For you i hold my hand wide open, for you i still dream.
Cu speranta noului inceput, unui nou vis, unei noi cautari, unei noi sperante, va salut cu respect :)